Ending of a Busy Life

We had such a busy day today. In fact we didn't get to everything we were supposed to. Kim had an outdoor work party at the office and people played and did the COPE Course. It was nice to visit with some friends there. Then we went to our old ward, the 13Th ward, reunion. It was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. Melanie went with us and we just talked and talked for over an hour with old friends and many that I still see a lot. They were excited to hear about the weddings and the kids. Everyone asked about grand kids. We all know that answer! I was glad to see that so many people really cared about us, and I in them. We really didn't move that far away, but wards really do create boundaries. Then we went to a wedding reception of a family friend and friend of Gordon's. Steven Russell, We were happy for them, and it was fun to talk to the rest of his family and see how good they are all doing and their little kids. It sure makes me feel old, but grateful to be old. We didn't make it to the Hight Prist dinner, maybe next year.

We came home and had a phone message from Karen that Bevan had died. We had just talked about it at dinner with the girls that he didn't want any more visitors and that it would probably be soon. Bevan wanted it that way. Soon. Maybe we all will.

What must it feel like to die. We hear stories about going to the light, being warm, seeing loved ones. But really is it scary, is it dark and cold, is it lonely, can we see and talk immediately and feel whole again? Is our family there and eagerly waiting to be with us? I am sure grandma and grandpa were there. Just as they had been their at his birth. They welcomed him with open and loving arms. There was no need to scold or show a path not taken, for those things will be made known upon our eyes being opened, and the Vail removed. We have a loving father in Heaven and only he can judge and will do so with love and understanding.

One of my first memories of Bevan was at Dads death. He had come from California to be with mom and grandma. The 4 older kids were sitting in the bedroom with him and he was telling us how good we were being but that we had to keep being good for mom. He had us play the Quaker game. It was where we just had to sit and be quit. The first one to talk lost. We soon learned it was a dumb game, but every now and then he'd remind us to play the Quaker game. I remember him and grandma taking the kids to the Grand canyon one summer. Mom was sick or something and we needed to be gone from the house. Bevan took me to my daughter-daddy dates. One of the parties we had an Indian dancer that had brought some snakes and I was one of the only girls who stayed in the circle with their dad/uncle because the other girls had all ran away. But as I turned around from looking at something the dancer had the snake right in my face and I screamed and fell off my chair and I remember Bevan being very kind and reassuring to me, but we then went home, because I was crying and I guess had had enough.

Bevan may have had his faults and short comings when it came to family and the gospel, but he was moms only brother, grandma's only son and my only Uncle. He gave to our children at Christmas and birthdays when he didn't have to. Our children all have many savings bonds that were given as gifts, along with paintings and memories. He came home from California, where he might have had the life he more envisioned for himself, to be with his Mom and Sister when the men in their lives had died. He tryed to be a male figure in the boys lives, but that wasn't to be.
I wish he had written 101 things about himself so that I might know him better, but he didn't want us to know him better. We are grateful for what he did give and pray for the the understanding of what he choose to keep to himself. Bevan may you find love and peacefulness in your next journey.