I do not write as poetically as my daughters, and I certainly do not have as mush to say, but my emotions are getting the better of me today or again as I struggle with school, work, church, home , family, wedding stuff and just day to day living.

School: So much for going at your own pace. 6 months is 6 months, and what isn't done goes as incomplete and is added to next semester, I do think I'll be done, if I pass everything I turn in the next 3 weeks, but the pressure is more than I can stand most days. I do like learning, I just hate dead-lines and pressure and not being able to work the computer like I need to.

Work: Everyday new responsibilities are being added to what I have to do but nothing is ever taken away. I know everyone faces challenges in their jobs, and people rely on you doing what you should, but when life and not death is what the expectation is, then there is just a bit more frustration involved. I know I am not lazy, but I pray everyday that I make it to retirement, and can enjoy life without being so on edge all the time about getting it all right and never forgetting to get it all done.

Church: I have a testimony and this is where I want to be and learning more and more about our Lord and Savior is a focus I want in my life. I can't add a BUT here, so I'll just add that in 3 weeks I have about 25-30 sisters coming over to my kitchen to watch me make Chicken Gnocchi soup, I wish I could just say "NO, not at this time", and not feel guilty.

Home: I don't cook, clean, do laundry, watch TV (much), shop for food or anything else, leisure read for book club, (they still let me come even though I haven't read a fun book for months), O ya book club is at my house this month too. Things just seem to be piling up and getting dusty thus the worry over soup night.

Family: I will never be able to stop worrying about each of them, and that's just what comes with willingly having children and being married. Mel and Justin are hurting right now for a miscarriage, and we all hurt for them too. There is a wedding in the works that I haven't done much of anything for it, but I know they'll tell me when to get my act together on that. Praying for each of them helps with the worrying and being willing to do what ever they might need is about all I can do. Having a loving and understanding husband help too.

Life goes on and I am grateful I can get up each morning and be apart of each day, and able to say thank you at the end of each day.

This past weekend, Thurs, Fri, and Sat. Kim and I took the kids up to Bear River Lodge in the Uintas and went snowmobiling and stayed in a 5 bedroom cabin. The weather was absolutely beautiful. As we would sit around and talk we thought how wonderful it would be to own a great vacation home like that. But since we don’t I am grateful for the opportunity and the means to just rent one and enjoy the weekend. I was telling the kids that when they were little, money was always so tight, that I never imaged even being able to provide fun vacations like this. We played games, ate well and enjoyed being together and playing with Hyrum. The poor kid probably has such an over-load of attention when we are all together that he just can’t wait to have his space back when we’re all gone.

Hyrum in one of the 3 huge Love Sac's

Up in the loft, it could easily sleep 10 or more people
Boys playing in the loft, Gordon even jumped down onto one of the Love Sac's once and his parent's greatly disapproved

This table sat all 10 of us

Gordon pumping up the tubes that we never did take out

Lots of food in the big kitchen

Hyrum loved the snow and when ever he was outside he only wanted to walk on the snow and hated the sidewalk. Yes he is very bundled up

Mel and Hyrum getting ready for a ride?

Matt and Jennie

Gordon, Jodi and Jessica. We had to go in shifts we only had 6 machines and someone had to stay with Hyrum, so Mel and Justin didn't go out on the first run of the day

Kim and LeeAnn

Relaxing at the home front

Who is under there?

It was a great time and hopefully we can do it again. We did miss Jodi's friend Trevor, who couldn't get away from work, so maybe next time.

MORE STUFF
For the whole month of Jan. our wards Relief Society is in charge of providing Heritage Care Center’s Relief Society each Monday. I have had this opportunity many many times over the years, either with the RS or with the Young Men and Women who help when wards takes turns providing the Sacrament meetings. It’s a great and humbling opportunity for both adults and youth. Last week when we got there a gentleman who we've knew from the 13Th ward was there in his wheelchair waiting for the meeting to start. I knew as soon as I saw him that it had to have been one of the hardest things his wife ever had to do to place him there. She has cared for him for the many years he has suffered with MD or MS and has been wheelchair bond for as long as we’ve known him which is at least 24 years. When she got there and we talked afterwards we both just cried for the situation he is in. There is also another man there who was in that same ward, and his wife was here with him and he has Alzheimer’s and no longer knows who his wife is nor does he speak, but it took all my control to not cry at seeing her sit by him and hold his hand during the meeting knowing that she still loves him no matter what!

My lesson this past Sunday was on the Creation, our eternal possibilities, the Lords plan for us here on earth and being able to Pass the Test and return to Him again. When we stop as see the full circle of life and know of the struggles we have to face and the lessons we must learn it is hard sometimes to remember we choose this opportunity to come here and go through all of this, but the reward must truly be splendid for us to continue only on faith.

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Happy Happy birthday Jodi. Your dad and I hope it's a good one. We love you and want you to be happy. I love your SMILE!

2009

I am not good at remembering what goes on day to day or month to month, but I do know 2009, just like every year, had good and bad.

So in no particular order.

Everyone became a year older and the most noticeable was Hyrum's 1st year. Talking with Mel almost everyday and hearing about what new and fun accomplishment he was making, made not seeing him daily bearable. We had a few (four, I think) sleep overs and on was 5 days long. I find myself talking way too much to family and friends about my wonderful my little grandson, but he is.

We celebrated our 30Th year wedding anniversary, and sailed away on a wonderful Cruise for 6 days. Kim and I had a great time, not just for those six days, but everyday I know how blessed I am to have a great loving husband.

Our ward and stake was realigned, so I was released as the nursery leader and now have the 3rd week Relief Society teacher calling. Kim being on the High Council didn't have to change. I was really worried that we might be pulled away from all our friends, because of where our house is located, but the ones I am closest too came to the new ward too. The new ward has great people and the Church is True in the new building too. I also had been released after 5.75 years as the enrichment counselor before all that happened.

After 15 years of visiting and teaching with the same partner in the old old 13Th ward and seeing the same sisters, I finally stopped visiting in 2 wards. My good friend and partner Judy sold their home of over 30 years and moved to a new home in Syracuse. That has been hard, not only to not see her as much, but also the ladies we visited. They always said they didn't mind that I actually wasn't in their ward for the last 7 years.

I had unexpected colon surgery in May, it took me much longer to recover than I ever dreamed possible, and I now have new empathy for anyone who goes through a major surgery and has PAIN. But I also realized how many wonderful friends along with caring family members that I have and that I need to be more aware of others and their needs.

Matt and Jennie became engaged. What a wonderful and exciting time for them and now they are planning their future together. I can see how much they love each other and respect what the other one needs.

We had an UN-Birthday party for MOM and DAD in Sept. They both celebrated Sept. birthdays and it was a fun party and just a great reason to get together. It was also a full year, in Nov. that mom passed away and she is always in my thoughts and I can see her in my actions.

Jodi meet or re-meet a young man in 2009 and she seems very happy all the time now.I guess we'll so what happens.

I applied for and got hired to a new position at work. This is something I really didn't give much thought to before hand. But once I accepted the job, I then had to start school full - time. They want everyone to have a Bachelors degree in the position and I guess having 2 associates just didn't cut it. So I hope to be done next fall.

I am grateful for every year I have been blessed with and look forward to the new one beginning.

The last 2 years Christmas has taken on a different feel. Last year mom had just past away, and then no one could come for breakfast due to the terrible snow storm that we had. So this year was to be a big, everyone come eat do gifts and it would be great. Well it was. Almost the whole Petersen group made it up and we ate the traditional scrambled eggs, OJ, Ham and the best and the thing we wait for all year long, home made scones, honey butter and jam. It was a lot of fun. Paul ended up giving the worst gifts ever to the youngest niece and nephew, coats! Not that they were really the worst gifts, but their mom had picked them out because she wanted them for the kids and Paul was the giver who the kids looked at like "what the heck" a coat! Paul said next year he would ask the kids themselves want they want.

It was nice to visit with the family and then as everyone left, Kim and I cleaned up and got ready for the next event.

Dinner for the Hardcastle family. Everyone came and our own trickled back it at some point, they had all left after breakfast to see family on the other side. Then Mel, Justin and our bright little Hyrum came for the rest of the day and night. The evening was nice, again to eat and visit,the little cousins played Wii and the big folks sat around and visited.

Later that evening our kids finially got to open up gifts together, from each other and mom and dad. It was a very long day, but worth the wait. As usual being the one in charge, I gave my camera away so not very many photos were taken.

It is very hard to remember a Christmas with out mom, the season meant so much to her, and most of our traditions come from what she started, each family has added their own, but no matter the generation remembering fun and good times is what is important. We often lose sight of Christ in the gift giving the food the parties, being busy and all the preparation that goes into the celebration, but I know that Christ is present when in is honor family and loved ones share time together in fun, peace, harmony and remembering all who have given so much and gone on before.

Yes there is a small child in that bag, and sometimes not so small of child

Abby and Briggs get to celebrate with the family too (along with Jessica)

Jacey helping with her dad and the scone making.

Every time I hear Happy Holidays I am reminded of mom. One year I made these glass blocks for all the families, and they said Happy Holidays, she asked me change hers to say Merry Christmas, she hated that everyone was taking Christ out of Christmas and really wanted hers to say that. I made her a new one, and now I have it. I didn't mean anything by making the first one, but she was so determined that it made me think twice and I never say Happy Holidays. Thanks MOM.

A few of my favorite things:

End of a busy work day

A clean house

Thanksgiving with family

Having my bed made each day (by my husband)

Birthday smiles "The temptation to cuddle him is nearly overwhelming"

Daughters that are happy (sons too)

Christmas lights Organized closets

Completed and accepted assignments

Good memories and a loving family

A husband that is willing to proof read, fix computers, run to the store,fill your car late at night, loves you and the kids and the grand baby most of all, just to name a few of my favorite things.