Moving Forward (is this happening to me)

     Yes I am moving forward, just a different forward than I thought would come this quickly.  When I meet with Dr. J. the following week, he did have a plan.  He explained again that my MM wasn't responding to normal chemo and he didn't want to move too far forward with any of the new drugs, because some of them could preclude me from having a Stem Cell Transplant down the road, so after of lot of investigation and consultations he was moving to a different chemo regimen and wanting me to meet with the Transplant team at LDS hospital.  
       I visit with women everyday and help them try to understand their breast cancer, how to move forward with their life and I try to give them help with what ever they need.  I have not had a ME, (case manager) in my MM road up to this point.  Well that very night, (after my appot. with Dr. J.)  I got a phone call from a case manager for MM from LDS.  I finally felt like I had an advocate, someone who understood and was here for me.
      I did have to wait 3 weeks for my appointment,
      The day finally arrived and we meet with a PA who did a physical and went over my 10 page history papers, then we meet with Dr. G and my case manager.  She was so informative and easy to understand, and explained some possible reasons for why my MM wasn't responding and what Stem Cell could do for me.  She went on in detail on how it worked, and how it was done, that it worked for  97% of those who have it done.  And they hope I can get 2-5 years of remission.    Even though she was easy to understand it didn't make any of it sound any easier.  It didn't scare me too much, but it still makes me anxious.    
     I have to share an experience that only lasted for a few moments.  As I was listening to Dr. G. suddenly I was somewhere else thinking....is this information something that I am learning about to teach someone else or is this really happening to me, this only happens to other people, but then it all came back that yes this is my life, my situation, my disease.... It was a surreal little experience.
     Work has been a huge huge weight on my mind since the whole stem cell idea was brought up.  My boss was already in the process of hiring a PRN RN that we could train in my job and he could also use in his other department.  Everyone knows that any new hire can take weeks and weeks to get through the hiring process, orientations, training, etc.  Then we had a meeting with our 2 Dr's. my boss, office manager, and a few others and we were discussing what needed to happen in my abscess.  Long story short, we used to have a PRN RN, and she quit working to concentrate on her own businesses, and it was suggested to give her a call and see if she might be interested in coming back to help us out.  And She WAS.  She had been thinking about us for a while and was actually missing us and was very interested. 
      Prayers are answered in so many ways.  The moment I was told she would help us, a very heavy load was lifted.  I started to cry and found out it was Dr. I's. idea.  Just an FYI, she was raised LDS but has absolutely nothing to do with the church, but I thanked her for listing to her promptings, she just smiled and said she wanted the best for me, but I new she was inspired, and she listened!!

     Our family is growing, suddenly we have 8 grand babies now.  The Lord is watching over all of us and his blessings are felt every day.

 We've had a new beautiful baby, Margot Lynn Hardcastle, born May 10th.  Mom and baby did great, but I think dad has been a nervous wreck for the last few weeks.

A sweet little 3 year olds birthday, Steela was delighted with her gifts, donuts, candles and attention.

      And a music recital for Hyrum and Kate.  They have always loved music. I've been in the car with the 3 kids before and had them singing at the top of their lungs Le Miserable, or humming star wars, and so many tunes they hear over and over again with their mom.




 Milo loves his cars, and asks for hugs.  I love that!

Benson is not only crawling but standing up and is total mobile, time for the baby stair gate. 

Burton and his bright eyes and hikes everyday with his mom, he should start keeping track to his miles, he'll soon be able to brag about his long distance travel.

And Charlotte became a BIG sister.  She loves her little sister and is always at her side making sure she is being loved and cared for.  So sweet to watch.

   

       This bunch of littles makes me so happy and brings such joy to my life. (I love their parents too), and they know they are always welcome as long as the kids are with them!!  No matter when I start this medical procedure I know between Kim and my kids I will be taken very well care of.